This website came about through adoptees meeting together in various groups on facebook during the early stages of the Australian Senate Inquiry into Forced Adoptions. It fairly quickly became apparent that adoptees needed a community of their own where ideas, experiences and adoption itself can be discussed seriously, with humour, anger and with freedom from criticism, judgement and rebuke. We need to say what we want to say to people who understand us, our lives and our concerns.
Most of us understand the loneliiness of adoption, that place that perhaps begins for us in the cot in the hospital or orphange where we were left alone to cry, left to begin the journey we take in which the only one we can truly rely on is ourself. We also understand that adoption as experienced by others is not adoption for us. Many assumptions have been made about how adoption is for us by non-adoptees, most of them are incorrect, misleading or serving the needs of others. For decades we were silent, we are no longer able to remain silent, to allow misconceptions, misunderstanding and misinformation about us and our lives, about the effects of adoption to go unchallenged.
Adoption is what is is for adoptees. For each one of us a different experience, but with the common thread of loss of our mothers and our attachment to her in childhood.Some of us have experienced reunion with differing results, some of us never will, because we have no idea who our parents were or where to find them. Whatever our individual situations, we need to recognise the diiferences, respect them and view them with the eyes of adult adoptees. We need to move away from the views and ideas of others which have damaged, belittled and attempted to disempower.We need our own language of adoption, formed from our experiences and what we know to be true, for us, not what others tell us is 'true'.
The road leading to the setting up of this website has been rocky, sometimes stormy, as adoptees sorted out their allegiances and beliefs.The founding members of this group are united in their views on the way forward and work co-operatively with no need for leaders or shepherds. There is mutual respect, an abhorrence of unproductive conflict and a dislike of dogma. If you find this is a fit for you as an Australian adoptee, please ask to become a member.If you need the uncritical support of other adoptees, please ask to become a member.
We thank and acknowledge those who made this group possible - those who questioned, disbelieved, criticised, rebuked and showed us that an adoptee community was needed. We thank our relatives and families who love and care for us, support us and believe in us. We love you too!